Tigers 3, Twins 2: Baseball (disambiguation)

Oct 2, 2022 - 2:01 AM

“The Minnesota Twins are an American professional baseball team based in Minneapolis. The Twins compete in Major League Baseball as a member club of the American League Central Division. The team is named after the Twin Cities area which includes the two adjoining cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul.”

On this warm October evening, the above quote (courtesy of Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) also rather artfully sums up the state of this team right now; the Minnesota Twins are, in fact, the professional baseball team out of Minneapolis, and compete (generous verbiage, but we’ll let it slide) in the American League Central Division. Then there’s a fun fact, and Bob’s your uncle.

There’s really not much else to say about this team right now that constitutes more interesting prose than what you’ve already read above.

Apparently, that Wikipedia article was first written way back on October 19, 2001, by somebody named Gareth Owen (no relation.) At the time of publication, Owen had included a “current stars” section, which itself included Joe Mays and Eric Milton. (Woof-dot-gov.) Since then, the writer base for the team’s Wikipedia page has diversified a bit, with contributors such as Discospinster, Mindmatrix, Tropicalkitty, and Xboxsponge15 each making revisions over the summer, the last of whom makes me wonder whether or not the free encyclopedia is frequently updated by 7-year-olds, or if that was just a one-time thing.

There’s not a Wikipedia page for Twinkie Town, although our website is noted as a citation more than few times, so let that inform your opinion on the legitimacy of our reporting credentials.

While we don’t have an official presence on the world’s pre-eminent knowledge resource, we’ve certainly had enough of a history on Twinkie Town to warrant at least a little blurb etched into a Target Field bathroom stall, or something, even if it’s just “JL wuz here,” and leave it at that. After all, I joined the site on July 5th, 2013, after which point the Twins have seen as many playoff appearances as this publication has seen editors. And there are folks who have been around even longer than me! (But they’re old, clearly, so we don’t have to listen to them.)

Also, my official position is still listed as “Cool Staff Writer” for reasons unbeknownst to me.

So, while I may joke that there’s nothing to say, the truth is that the Twins have been terrible far more than they have been exceptional in the 10 seasons I’ve spent watching games with this community, and yet this website has nonetheless provided countless hours of laugh-out-loud content, real connections and conversation, and even a handful of spoken-word pieces.

You’ll have to forgive my mawkishness, but I’ve only ever done Saturday game coverage, which means that when my last turn in the rotation comes up, the season is ending the following day. Rob Manfred, in his infinite wisdom, has thrown a wrench into that dynamic, so you’re getting a fond farewell followed by even more excruciatingly average baseball.

Blame Bobby Baseball, not me.

Always a pleasure.

STUDS: Viewers like you. Thank you.

DUDS: No duds. Just this once.

ROBOT ROLL CALL: Keep circulating the tapes.

And, once more, with feeling...GO TWINS GO!