We’ll talk about this later: HE’S NOT SANTA and other thoughts on Ryan Day, Greg Schiano

Oct 2, 2022 - 8:01 PM

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Each week, we’ll break down something that happened during the Ohio State game (and occasionally other games) that we’ll be talking about for a while — you know, the silly sideline interactions, the awful announcing and the weird storylines that stick with us for years to come. We’ll also compare each of these happenings to memorable moments in pop culture, because who doesn’t love a good Office reference?

You know what we’re going to talk about, because it’s newsworthy enough when 22-year-old-and-under players fight. It’s another thing when their grown-up coaches do battle. I quote Mike Gundy:

We’re not condoning violence, here, but it was getting to be a bit of a snoozer in the fourth quarter when Rutgers showed blitz on an Ohio State fourth down and Buckeye punter Jesse Mirco read the room and ran for the first down.

An aggressive hit out of bounds on Mirco later, the Ohio State bench leapt to its feet to defend their punter. And then, Greg Schiano ran across the field to confront Ryan Day? It was enough to wake up the crowd and the Twittersphere.

At first, it looked like Day and Schiano were trying to break up the fight, then they got in each others’ faces. The finger pointing was next level, though the encounter did not result in fisticuffs. Regardless, the incident recalled Buddy the Elf confronting fake Santa in Gimbel’s, accusing the imposter of sitting on a throne of lies.

While we can applaud both Day and Schiano for defending their players, perhaps escalating violence with both sidelines converging was not the way to go. The general absurdity of the situation was not lost on head referee, Ron Snodgrass, who took what felt like an eternity to call Rutgers’ Aron Cruickshank for the late hit and admonish both coaches for their unsportsmanlike conduct, which offset.

Let’s also not forget the stiff, awkward handshake with the uncomfortable back-patting a la another Will Ferrell movie, Stepbrothers, when Brennan doesn’t know how to greet his new stepfather.

The unfortunate part of the brawl (besides the fact there was a brawl at all) was that it overshadowed a historic day for running back Miyan Williams, whose five rushing touchdowns tied a school record.

The Elf analogy doesn’t die here, because, like the children waiting at Gimbel’s to meet Santa, their dreams were crushed when Buddy and fake Santa destroyed the entirety of the Christmas-themed wonderland. While the kiddos still cheered for the body slam that took out Buddy’s crafted Lego New York City, it’s still kind of sad, and it felt like Williams, who was looking forward to getting recognition for his efforts, was overshadowed.

I bet Greg Schiano smells like beef and cheese, too.