Red Bulls Paper Revue: December 6, 2022

Dec 6, 2022 - 5:16 PM

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Welcome to the Red Bulls Paper Revue presented by Once a Metro.

On trash day, I went for my regular constitutional in the neighborhood and saw that far too many people threw away pumpkins. Think of all the delicious recipes that can be made: breads, pies, soups, etc. If a person throws away one, I understand. But to put four gigantic, perfect pumpkins on the curb made me want to pull them out of the bin and use them myself. And by “use,” I meant smash them on their cars for being such wasteful idiots.

Here’s this week’s top story.

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Gerhard Struber is back with his ink and quill, bringing his managerial acumen to the pages of Kurier. The Austrian shares an interesting perspective as to what is happening on the field and in the technical area. Could there be perhaps something to be gleaned from the article about his own coach style? Let’s dive in.

How do substitutions disrupt the machinations of opposing managers? “An important aspect that I’m also particularly interested in at this World Cup: how the coaches influence the game of their teams through change strategies,” writes Struber. “The game between Argentina and Saudi Arabia was exciting in this regard… Several late changes have repeatedly broken the rhythm of the oppressive Argentines. That can really annoy a superior team.”

What should the thought process be toward playing time and roster rotation? “Which player with which skills will help the team now?” queries the 45-year-old. “A World Cup is a career highlight for most players, and everyone wants to play there. And this is exactly where the balancing act lies: the emotionality of letting as many people as possible play should be left out. Nevertheless, everyone must feel that they are making a contribution… In the end, victories are the biggest driver of positive energy.”

I’ll say it: I don’t like that Struber is a better writer than I am. Coaches should coach, and bloggers should blog. He should stop because this is embarrassing for me.

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RB Leipzig has a new sporting director, as Max Eberl stepped into the position that seems to have been vacant for eons. With a desire to make a stamp on the club, roster decisions are on the docket. One particular issue involves a player who was recently on the books, although not always on the field, with New York.

According to Bild, Caden Clark may be returning to Leipzig, but he is not staying. He will be heading out on loan to a club in Europe. There are said to be many unnamed suitors as the hunt for a suitable environment remains ongoing.

I’m going to hazard a guess and say… doo doo doo… Belgium. That seems like a good idea. I bet Clark is going on loan in the “Battlefield of Europe,” which a Google search informs me is the country’s nickname.

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New York Red Bulls II, also known as Los Dos Toros [Are people still doing that?], said goodbye to Stiven Plaza. The 23-year-old Ecuadorian striker joined the then-USL Championship side in August. He made seven appearances and scored a single goal.

The club gambled on a formerly high-potential attacker. It didn’t work out. Both sides move on. However, a player with his pedigree will have suitors for the rest of his career.

The next organization to shake the top hat and attempt to pull out his magical rabbit of talent is Sociedad Deportiva Aucas (a former stop on Gonzalo Verón’s résumé), which has the “pearl” (Plaza) in “in its sights.” El Ídolo del Pueblo (The Idol of the People) recently won the first title in club history, claiming the 2022 Ecuadorian Serie A. A packed schedule crowded with Copa Libertadores fixtures is on the horizon, necessitating a larger roster.

The narrative is that injuries have destroyed Plaza’s once promising career. I hope he figures it out. Please praise me for being a good person who dispenses only the most banal of platitudes.

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At least in one area under the Red Bull umbrella, fans should continue to expect coverage from the rain. Helmut Marko, an advisor to the company’s Formula One division, insists that there is “no need to worry” in the aftermath of the death of Dietrich Mateschitz. There will be “more races and titles” in the future.

“Our success speaks for itself,” he told Bild. “There is no need to worry that Red Bull will disappear from Formula 1 in the near future… Our biggest plus has always been that we have many bright minds who don’t need a meeting with the supervisory board before anything can be initiated. We’ll see what that looks like in the future.”

Of course, soccer executive Oliver Mintzlaff is now in charge of the entire sports and media division. The company is still determining “what role [he] will play.” The restructuring will take some time, but the status quo will continue, Mercedes be damned.

What this all has to do with New York and soccer, I’ll leave up to you. Here’s a hint: the answer is probably nothing. You can outright disregard anything in the Paper Revue as being of no importance.

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Third-tier Danish side Akademisk Boldklub Gladsaxe, popularly known as AB, was recently sold to Five Castles Football Group LLC. The group features a name from the past, former New York Red Bulls managing director Erik Stover. He relocated to the Scandinavian country and is attempting to assure people on the ground that this is for real and not some umbrella strategy or “pilot scheme” for a bigger investment elsewhere.

“Unlike many other investors, we are not interested in owning clubs other than AB,” said Stover. “I know the advantages from my time at Red Bull New York, but I also know the disadvantages. We are not here to score a quick profit in a few years or to expand the portfolio. And we look forward to showing that to the fans and the local community. Our investor group consists of family and friends, and everyone has had different roles in the world of football - unlike some of the ownerships you see going wrong elsewhere.”

Stover believes that the development of local roots cannot occur over Zoom meetings, which necessitates boots on the ground. Also, there is an importance on having “experienced managers,” as was the case during his time with the Red Bulls. AB has a proud history, with nine domestic titles, but recent years have not been kind to the Gladsaxe club. Perhaps the new ownership will lead a triumphant rise from the third tier, which is confusingly known as the 2nd Division.

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We have another edition of the Joel Lindpere blog. The former Red Bulls midfielder took to the pages of Coolbet to discuss everything going on in his cool life. When serving as a sporting director, there is business with all of the various assorted comings and goings.

He also has some opinions on that big old tournament in Qatar. “It’s kind of weird that the World Cup isn’t happening this summer, but I always have some favorite games and aspects that I watch,” writes Lindpere. “I don’t watch all the games and I keep my fingers crossed for the men I played and trained with at the World Cup. Although I have long since graduated, the younger men who at one time looked at me as a national team player and respected me, now I look at them and envy the opportunity they have had by participating in the World Cup… I especially [support] my friends from the USA, who were good teammates outside of training as well!”

Most importantly, Lindpere got a puppy! He posted a picture of the “new furball” which was introduced to the family last week. His wife also included a shot of the delightful Pomeranian on her Instagram page.

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You don’t have to go home, Fábio Gomes, but you can’t stay here.

Well, you probably can’t go home either.

After scoring one goal in nine second-division appearances, Vasco da Gama announced that the former Red Bulls striker will not be remaining at the club following the completion of his loan, purchase option or not. Now he returns to Atlético Mineiro where his current contract lasts through 2025. Except Galo (Rooster), staffed by newly-hired manager Eduardo Coudet, reportedly doesn’t want him either, which means that another move is on the way.

Well, chin up, Charlie. I’m sure someone will want you. Just, uh, try to score a few more goals next time.

Here’s a joke that was submitted by Olga of Carteret.

“A striker who doesn’t score goals would fit right in with the New York Red Bulls.”

Thank you, Olga. I’m sure there will be more goals next season.

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Do you have a story you’d like to submit to the Paper Revue? Email us at bencorkOAM@gmail.com or send a DM to @Once_A_Metro on Twitter.