Twas The Night Before Baseball...

Mar 29, 2023 - 11:07 PM
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Photo by Brace Hemmelgarn/Minnesota Twins/Getty Images




This came to brain this morning. You all have to live with the consequences. I’m sorry.


’Twas the night before baseball, when all through the hours

Not a creature was stirring, not even Joe Mauer.

The baseballs were resting in the humidor with care

In hopes that some Bombas soon would be there.

★ ★ ★

The players were all nestled, snug in their beds

While Rocco prepped spreadsheets, bald like his head

Falvey in the new road grays, Levine in the cream

Had nightmares of Emilio Pagán giving homers to the wrong team.

★ ★ ★

When out in center field there arose such a clatter

Rocco rose from his desk to see what was the matter

Away to the window, he flew like Nick Gordon, Flash

To see Correa and Buxton, and the homers they mash

★ ★ ★

Dongs to the moon, way into Kansas City

Hit so hard they awoke even Gary Gaetti.

To the bottom of the 5th, another short start

When appeared 6 pitchers on a tiny golf cart.

★ ★ ★

With a little old driver, a bit dorky and tacky,

He knew in a moment it must be Pete Maki

More rapid than Buxton, his pitchers they came

As he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

★ ★ ★

“Now López, now Thielbar, now Jovani Moran

On Alcala, on Jax, and Jhoan Duran!

Forward to the pitching mound, go grab the ball!

Now strike ‘em out, strike ‘em out, strike ‘em out all!”

★ ★ ★

With Pagán left behind, and Sands in the ‘pen

Rocco knew that Pete Maki had picked the right men.

With new peace of mind, and his lucky stuffed panda,

Rocco crawled into bed, and dreamt of healthy Jose Miranda.

★ ★ ★

Duran spoke not a word, wanting to pitcher sooner,

Striking out Salvador Perez and Bobby Witt Jr.

With the game on the line and his feet on the mound,

He struck out Hunter Dozier with a leap and a bound.

★ ★ ★

The Twins were victorious, an Opening Day gift

Joey Gallo had 3 hits thanks to the lack of a shift!

Rocco danced in his dreams, his spreadsheets were right.

Happy Opening Day to all, and to all a good night!








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