Fake Nunes previews Syracuse vs North Carolina

Jan 24, 2023 - 6:00 PM

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Welcome back, Fake Nunes fans. The analytics staff is hard at work as the Syracuse Orange go deeper into the 2022-23 ACC Basketball season. Let’s get to the preview of the next Syracuse opponent...

Opponent: North Carolina Tar Heels

Location: Chapel Hill, NC

Students: 31,539 students who want to know how come Roy Williams seems happy in retirement

The 2022-23 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)

College basketball is full of metrics that no one really fully understands so we’ll continue to give you more ridiculousness with this year’s revised FNET metric.

Head Coach Casual Bench Attire:

Hubert Davis sees Clemson in first place and now he’s dressing like a dean of students on casual Friday

Jamie Rhodes-USA TODAY Sports

It seems that Jim Boeheim forgot he could get his tailor to fix the hem on these pants

Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

Advantage: UNC

Uniforms:

It’s hard to beat Carolina. One of the few teams that people recognize the second they see the uniform. Too bad Syracuse won’t go script or retro in honor of today’s Homefield launch.

Timothy D. Easley / AP / USA TODAY NETWORK

Advantage: UNC

Basketball Program Hashtag:

None vs #CarolinaFamily

Less pretentious than Duke but it feels like UNC could do better here.

Advantage: UNC

Program pandering:

A new category where we look at the programs and see what they are trying to do to garner support from the fans.

I’m surprised that they didn’t have Joe Girard holding a baby and a puppy during this plea for fans to show on a Tuesday night at 9. If there was ever a men’s basketball game to do a promotion this one was it.

Advantage: Push. Neither program wins for being stuck in this late time slot.

Prediction:

Jim Boeheim hates these late games because eating chicken parm after midnight goes against his doctor’s recommendation. The late start is good for his players though as the Orange’s body clocks tell them it’s desperation time so Syracuse storms out of the gate early. Unfortunately the sugar crash hits in the middle third of the game and Armando Bacot dominates the paint. With the Tar Heels denying Girard the ball Judah Mintz goes to work on RJ Davis. The Orange make their free throws and ignite the hopes of the fanbase with a two-point win.