Mid-Week Mayhem - Build a Boilermaker Sandwich

Mar 29, 2023 - 9:07 PM

Welcome to Mid-Week Mayhem. It’s pretty much the “off-season” around here at the moment, and we’re looking for things to write about. Today we rip off the XXX for content.

The premise of this challenge is for my minions, excuse me, our staff members to come up with a boiler themed sandwich and then y’all get to vote on whichever one you like best. This is totally subjective. I understand some people have poor taste and will choose a sandwich other than mine.

Garrett Shearman

Editor Note: What you need to understand about Garrett is he’s a 6’7” millennial (future) rock star. He’s not beholden to our silly sandwich rules and is here strictly for chaos.

Just to spark up debate over whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich, I present...

The Caleb BratFurst.

The #1 combo includes the following:

THE BRAT

1. Bratwurst simmered in non-alcoholic pilsner (Caleb is only twenty years old and surely none of us ever had a taste of beer in college before we were 21)...

2. Placed on a toasted pretzel roll because we’re going full midwest...

3. Adorned with house-pickled sauerkraut to resemble his hair...

4. Drizzled with stone-ground mustard like the extra mustard he puts on passes to Edey down low.

THE SIDE

1. One really long shoestring french fry...

2. Fried golden brown...

3. Laced up through a huge pair of Nike basketball shoes that are also Purdue gold...

4. Your “choice” of whatever dipping sauce Caleb Furst has approved for the day. Some days deems no sauce acceptable. Keeps the customers on their toes.

(Note: Please return the aforementioned serving shoe to the correct receptacle upon exit.)

THE DRINK

1. He was the Gatorade Player of the Year in Indiana so what do you think?

2. Any flavor of Gatorade that Caleb Furst has been photographed drinking. No exceptions. I don’t care if there’s one of those fancy flavors like Cucumber-Lime available in store. If Caleb Furst has not been photographed drinking it, you can’t have it.

Gameday Gabi

Editor Note: Gabi has no time for foolishness. She gets down to business with this practical, yet tasty burger celebrating her favorite player.

The Mason Black and Blue Burger

This burger goes as hard as Gillis does in the paint. A juicy 1/2 pound patty blackened with Cajun seasonings, topped with bacon, blue cheese crumbles, grilled onions, lettuce and chipotle mayo. Served with house cut fries. No worries, you’ll leave feeling sore in your waistline and not in your eye.

This is too easy. I am going to go well above and beyond and break some rules by giving 3 answers, 1 of which isn’t even a sandwich.

Ryan

Editor Note: Ryan is both ambitious and hungry. He replied to my email immediately, and I’m under the impression that this is something he thinks about often.

This is too easy. I am going to go well above and beyond and break some rules by giving 3 answers, 1 of which isn’t even a sandwich.

- The Big Maple Breakfast

Come on, this was staring all of us in the face. Give someone who orders the breakfast named after Zach Edey 7 4-inch diameter pancakes and a ton of maple syrup. Throw in 2 eggs, a side of of maple wood smoked bacon, choice of potato, and toast and you’ve got yourself a glorious breakfast.

- The Carsen Cheesburger

I’m not playing with this burger. You get 1/4 lb steak chop patties like Carsen Edwards liked shooting: in 3’s. That’s right, 3 patties, 3 pieces of American cheese, 3 pickle and tomato slices, lettuce, onion, and mayo (none of that Miracle Whip) on a toasted sesame bun. Served with fries.

- The Bullseye! Breakfast Burger

Dedicated to the amazing legacy of Larry Clisby. 1/2 pound steak chop with a hole in the middle filled with an over-easy egg and topped with hash browns, bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, and mayo on a toasted bun. Served with fries and a pickle.

Andrew Ledman

Editors Note: What you need to understand about Ledman is this he’s in shape...like he runs for fun, which confuses me, but to each his own I suppose. His offering provides a slightly lighter option for those of you trying to live long enough to see Purdue make a Final 4.

Caleb Swanigan Double-Double

I’ve given this a lot of thought and I’m going with the Caleb Swanigan Double Double - It’s exactly what it sounds like, but I’m adding a twist. Biggie of course was known for getting double doubles so it just makes sense that his sandwich would be a double cheeseburger. However, given that Biggie worked so hard to keep his body in shape and lose all that weight, the Caleb Swanigan is served in a lettuce wrap/bun. You can upgrade to a regular bun for a slight upcharge but we’ve got to have standards. And you may be asking yourself, why is it called the Double Double? Why the two doubles? Well, it comes with two sides. Biggie, I’m sure, would go with cottage cheese and coleslaw, but you don’t have to feel bad when you order french fries and even more french fries.

Jed

Editor Note: Much like Gabi, Jed is getting down to business with this burger. No frills all flavor.

Boogie Burger

Named after Carsen Edwards, this burger features three different ¹⁄₃ pound ground sirloin steak patties with fresh salsa, lettuce, tomato and jalapenos between two pieces of Texas toast.

Drew Schneider

Editor Note: All my compatriots are still stuck in basketball mode. I have extricated myself from that misery and will focus on Purdue’s true sport. We all know Purdue is a diving school and this sandwich is an homage to Purdue Olympians David Boudia and Steele Johnson.

The is a foot-long sandwich splint in half, which each half offering something a little different.

David Boudia and Steele Johnson Olympic Double Dip

The Boudia Half

• Fresh Baked American Baguette (Similar to the French version, but American)
• House Prepared and Shaved Prime Rib Eye Steak
• Caramelized Onions
• Roasted Red Peppers
• Provolone Cheese
• Horseradish Aioli

This side of the sandwich is served on a house baked baguette smeared with hot horseradish ailoi, piled high paper thin slices of house roasted medium rare rib eye, topped with 2 hour (minimum) caramelized onions, fire roasted red peppers, and melted provolone cheese. Once prepared, the sandwich is steamed on the griddle to keep the bread soft while melting the cheese.

The Johnson Half

• Fresh Baked American Baguette (Similar to the French version, but American)
• House Prepared and Shaved Prime Rib Eye Steak
• Caramelized Onions
• Balsamic Glazed Mushrooms
• Blue Cheese Crumbles

This half of the sandwich features the house baked baguette, piled high paper thin slices of house roasted medium rare rib eye, caramelized onions, sauteed, balsamic glazed button mushrooms, copious amounts of blue cheese crumbles. It’s steamed as well.

The Pool

The pool “aka dip” is made of the drippings from the roasted rib eye combined with red wine, house made beef broth, a splash of fish sauce, and pepper.

The Side

This sandwich comes with tempura battered and golden fried Vidalia onion rings, served with old-gold beer mustard.