Saturday Predilections: The Bye Week

Sep 30, 2022 - 8:00 PM

Vanderbilt is on the bye week, which means... oh God, what are our writers doing this weekend?

Well, I guess we can find out, but do we really want to know the answer to this? Also, we’re posting score predictions for Saturday’s game between Sewanee and Millsaps because, why not.

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Tom Stephenson

Let me introduce all of you young’uns to a thing called “Dad Life.” Dad Life is where what you plan to do on Saturday and what you are actually going to do on Saturday are two very different things.

What you plan to do: wake up, go for a run, pour yourself some coffee, post the Anchor Drop in peace and quiet, wake the little ones up, take them to Little Gym, go to the grocery store, put the little ones down for a nap, then watch some college football, possibly sit on the porch with a beer if your wife decides she also wants to take a nap

What you actually do: get awakened by screaming children, attempt to write the Anchor Drop with children climbing on you and/or whining for you to feed them, take a few desperate sips of coffee, take the little ones to Little Gym, go to the grocery store, little ones fall asleep in the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru and then refuse to go down for their naps, wife decides that she wants to binge Real Housewives of Salt Lake City all afternoon, finally have a beer at like 10 PM after everyone else goes to bed.

You know what, scratch that, it’s definitely bourbon on the porch, not beer.

The Pick: Millsaps 42, Sewanee 14. HIPPITY HUZ.

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: Tulane (+2.5) will wipe the vomit off themselves after last week’s loss to Southern Miss and beat HOUSTON.

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Andrew VU ‘04

What am I doing this weekend? I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal life, Tom.

Ah hell, I’ll tell you crumb bums. On Saturday, a friend and I are going hiking, then hanging out at a local brewery until they kick us out. Then, Sunday, I’m watching the best game on the docket for the weekend: Eagles vs. Jaguars. Who knew that would be the marquee game in Week Four coming into this season? Be honest...

The Pick: Let’s take a look at both squads.

The Millsaps College Major Dads are 1-2, with a 27-13 win over McMurry University (though Letterkenny, Canada’s Mrs. McMurry doesn’t care about the final score when taking on an entire football team), bookended with a 49-21 loss to Bellhaven (which is the name of a Victorian Asylum for the Mentally Infirm, and you cannot convince me otherwise) and a 41-17 loss to the “Fightin’ B’Goshes” of University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh.

As for the Hippity Huzzes, they’ve issued a 50-0 beatdown to the St. Scholastica Fightin’ Made Up Catholic School Names, a 41-6 shellacking of Westminster Choir College, and were humbled by a 44-0 disrobing at the hands of Washington & Lee.

This tells me nothing.

Fuck it: Millsaps 99, Sewanee negative threeve. HIPPITY HUZ, YOU COW PASTURE GRAIN ALCOHOL DRUNKS IN ROBES!

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: Ole Piss is favored by a TD over the Cayuts of the United Kingdom of the opioid epidemic. Sorry, what?! Mike Stoops is going to throw his blue mustard all over Lane Kiffin. KENTUCKY (+7) over Ole Piss.

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Patrick Sawyer

I am a simple man. My life generally consists of sports (playing, coaching, watching, or writing), video games, and whiskey. I will spend Friday night splitting my attention between the soccer team playing at Auburn and Preds preseason game. I had planned on driving down to Auburn for the match and going to see LSU-Auburn, but Bryan Harsin is quickly looking like a disaster. I decided the time and monetary investment for the trip — also hampered by a number of my teammates and friends being otherwise occupied this weekend — was not worth it.

It will be a relaxing weekend. The soccer team also does not have a game on Sunday, so I get to really relax and watch other teams go through the rigors of a college football Saturday. I am sure the Kentucky-Ole Miss game will get a lot of attention. A game that will get none of my attention...

The Pick: Millsaps never beat THEM 54-0, nor did they have a 4-game winning streak over THEM. Sewanee by a hundred!

Actually, Sewanee 35 and Millsaps 10.

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: West Virginia is totally finding their stride after a rough start while UTjr is definitely in the “oh, we’re not back” stage of their season.

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Cole Sullivan

This weekend I’ll be working as usual. Doing what? Honestly sometimes I don’t even know. It will be easier than usual to get it done though since I won’t be trying to check the score of the Vandy game every ten seconds. Past this weekend, I will predict a 100% chance that I’ll be watching Vivo Pro Kabaddi when it starts up again next week. I mean just look at this highlight reel (the first and only one I could find that would embed itself in a post) from a 2019 match:

Electric. Such a fun sport to watch, and I can’t wait for it to be back on ESPN+ and Hulu this week. I would recommend everyone give it a shot. And then I would recommend we start recruiting these guys because most of them are much better tacklers than just about anyone on our defense.

The Pick: As for Sewanee? Well I am an itsy bit biased because I had family who played football there. Some of my family still live in the area. Plus, Millsaps seems pretty bad this year and Sewanee seems to be killing it. I’ll pick Sewanee to win 322-10 in yet another record-setting bout of football from the Tigers. And then they’ll celebrate Sewanee-style at the frats because, while Sewanee may not be the football powerhouse it used to be, they have never once lost a party.

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: Me. I’m upset. Why isn’t there a Vandy game on? Oh fine, I’ll give a real upset pick. Mississippi State beats the shoes off of ole A&M. The Aggies are whiny little babies relying on an outdated playbook held together with string and weak team chemistry. CLANGA wins the Battle of the Maroon. By what, 8ish points? Yeah, it’ll be like 20-28. I guess. I dunno, I’m still upset there’s no Vandy game, AND that I won’t be at homecoming this year. Ugh! (Ed. note: Mississippi State is actually favored over A&M, doesn’t count.) (Writer’s note: Yeah well I didn’t get a degree in Sports Betting when I was in school, so excuse me for getting tripped up reading the spread. Now I’m double upset, and I’m still taking Mississippi State. Take that, Ed!)