Rock M Digest: Volume 3

Dec 4, 2022 - 11:00 AM

Welcome back, after a short break, to Rock M Digest, a weekly column where I, Madame Editor, share with you my must-read picks for the Rock M Nation content of the week. These stories made me think (sometimes too much), laugh, smile, cry... you get the picture. Since I have the distinct pleasure of reading everything on this wonderful website — I love reading it all, I swear — I want you, the readers, to know what you should be checking out if you don’t have time to read all the content. After all, the site did put out 217 posts in November alone.

At the bottom, I’ve gathered up my favorite quotes of the week and presented them with no context.

FYI: There are links to the stories in both the recommendations & the quotes so you can reference it if you so choose.

Let’s begin.

Sooner or later the average fan will ask the question: What is the point?

In this thoughtful post by Aaron, he writes, while we are in agreement that players having the autonomy to determine where they play and them using that right to capitalize on their value by earning income is deserved, what happens to the average fan, who is solicited for donations and encouraged to contribute to NIL, etc? When there’s just a constant churn of players in and out, why are we spending our time and energy on this? And is there anything Missouri can do to stop the metaphorical bleeding?

Mizzou Hoops Preview: Tigers Face First Road Test in Wichita

How many electricity-related puns can one writer insert into a preview, you ask? Too many to count, per Brandon’s WuShocks preview. Not only does the preview provide a plethora of information about both MU’s and WSU’s offensive & defensive statistics, but it gives excellent notes of what the Tigers can do to pull off a win. Let’s hope it works.

[Narrator: It did work. Victory! Read his also electric recap, Shock(er) Proof, here]

The Revue: Die Hard, Cigars and Terminally Online Alumni

You think I was going to let the football season come to its conclusion without one last look at Josh’s great mashup-game review, The Revue? In his final iteration, he argues that Die Hard, featuring Brady Cook — did you know he was in it? The photo proves it — is most definitely not a Christmas movie, and also, features kinda likable villains in Alan Rickman (RIP, Professor Snape) & Sam Pittman.

And as the glorious newly instituted Disrespectful Play Index comes to an end, Josh leaves us with an absolute banger, crowning a new King of Disrespect. It’s beautiful, boys and girls. Just [wipes tear] beautiful.

F*ck kansas

On Friday, fans & haters alike got wind of some bowl game “news” and everyone collectively freaked out as it was reported that supposedly, Mizzou was too “scared” to face kU in the Liberty Bowl. HA. Does everyone think it’s cool that it was a possibility to renew the football rivalry a few years earlier than expected? Yes. But on the same day as Hoops’ very important SEC opener against Kentucky at home? That’s a no from me, dawg.

So as our Slack channel blew up with the astonishment over the “reports”, Aaron took one for the team and channeled his unbridled rage to hilariously tell readers all the ways that this made no sense, and really, just f kansas. It was enjoyable as hell to read, and made for some great convo in the comments.

A Mizzou Fan’s Survival Guide to the Transfer Portal

In this post, Brandon Kiley tries to do his best to both calm down and prepare an anxiety-ridden Mizzou fanbase for the future. While he tells us that no, Dom Lovett will likely not be the only player we love to enter the portal, he can help us work through this.

Because, you see, BK himself has had to come to terms with some changes, such as the lessening importance of high school recruiting in the era of TransferMania. Recruit highly rated players? Awesome. Bring them on campus and watch them have a stellar season. Then watch them walk away to a blue-blood/higher functioning team in what amounts to NFL-esque free agency. It’s a great piece, and I highly recommend checking it out.

Out of Context Quotes of the Week:

“Brady Cook, brutal as he was for the first part of the season, suffered the gashes of a thousand malicious Mizzou fans — and damn y’all, some of you were really mean to him! — and came out on the other side with a Battle Line trophy and a bowl berth.” -Josh Matejka, The Revue

“Good adjustment, Barry! Not sure why it took you two quarters to do it but, hey, you got it right eventually!” -Nate Edwards, Beyond the Box Score

“Here’s what we ain’t gonna do, though.... We will not sit here and act like Missouri is “scared” to play a 6-6 kansas team that is bowl eligible for the first time in a decade and lost six of their last seven games.” -Aaron Dryden, F*ck kansas.

“Winning basketball games is hard. Winning road basketball games is harder. Winning road basketball games when you were -17.1% in effective field goal shooting... well it’s not impossible, but it’s improbable. -Sam Snelling, Study Hall

“This is the time of year when no news is good news, and most news makes you want to throw your phone into the nearest river. It’s okay. This is a safe space. We can admit it.”-Brandon Kiley, Mizzou Fan Survival Guide

“When do the fans get to win?” -Aaron Dryden, What’s the Point?

“College football is kind of a farce anyway, so why not treat it like one? Smoke a cigar after every win. Smoke a cigar before every game. Smoke a cigar on the bench while you sit by the heater... sorry, Eli” -Josh Matejka, The Revue