Top 5 rejected BTSC April Fools headlines

Apr 1, 2023 - 12:30 PM

<a href= — Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Don’t worry. We here at Behind The Steel Curtain are not going to try to pull one over on our readers and hit it big with some social media posts about a ridiculous story only to find it was an April Fools joke. It’s just not our style.

But since not everyone got the message, there were some articles that almost snuck their way onto the website in honor of one of the more ridiculous days of the year. Rather than try to get people to fall for these stories, I will simply outline the top five.

Mike Tomlin appeases the haters, fires himself

By Tony Defeo

As only BTSC’s grumpy old man can do, Tony takes a shot at those fans who are continually wanting Mike Tomlin gone regardless of the circumstances. Identifying the fact that Tomlin simply resigning as coach would not be enough, Tomlin gives himself authority in the front office to actually fire himself as coach. This sudden change less than a month before the NFL draft sends the Steelers into a whirlwind to find the next man up. Since a faction of Steelers Nation wanted Coach Tomlin gone so bad, they now sleep much better at night knowing that the Steelers went with an internal hire and promoted Matt Canada who still insists he will be calling the offensive plays.

J.J. Watt ends retirement and accepts trade to Ravens

By Jeff Hartman

By constantly covering the news going on around the AFC North, BTSC senior editor Jeff Hartman decides to ruffle some feathers by having the eldest Watt brother come out of retirement and go to an AFC North rival. Actually convincing readers that J.J. is heading to the Ravens was actually quite simple, but Jeff took it one step too far in reporting that Derek also signed in Baltimore while T.J. was also demanding a trade.

Steelers recognize their mistake, attempt to draft Malik Willis in 2023

By Andrew Wilbar

Still distraught over the fact the Steelers went with Kenny Pickett over Malik Willis with the 20th selection of the 2022 NFL draft, BTSC’s draft guru decides to sneak one in for 2023. Hoping that the Steelers can still get in on the Malik Willis hype train, Andrew has him re-drafted by the Steelers one year later despite being on an NFL roster. Knowing that it would be too difficult to pass with him being taken at the 17th overall selection, Andrew simply has the Steelers settle for Willis at pick number 32. This time Andrew is rolling on the floor with tears of joy.

Why the Steeler should kick the tires on Jarvis Jones

By Shannon White

Knowing that the Steelers still have a need at the outside linebacker position, and the fact the Steelers recently hosted former first-round pick Bud Dupree, Shannon brings up the notion of the Steelers turning back the clock a little bit farther for their depth by bringing back a different first-round draft pick. Shannon makes a very compelling argument for the Steelers to look into Jarvis Jones as their third option on the edge. Hey, if the discussion was Lawrence Timmons in 2020, why not Jarvis Jones in 2023? I think Shannon could convince me my mother would make a great player for the Steelers if both sides could agree on a contract.

Omar Khan works his magic, clears $300 million in 2023 cap space

By Dave Schofield

That’s right, I fell for it and got into the action as well on April Fools. Being the staff member who constantly updates the salary cap, I decided to have Omar Khan make some serious moves by extending and restructuring so many contracts that the Steelers actually go into the negative for the cap numbers on players for the season. Unfortunately, for those people who don’t pay attention to how much the salary cap actually is the NFL, many complained that $300 million for the year was not enough space if the Steelers really wanted to make some moves.

So those are the top five rejected April Fools headlines for Behind The Steel Curtain. If you actually believe any of these authors wrote, or even came up with these articles, then perhaps I did a decent job. Otherwise, you just experienced having five minutes of your life you will never get back.

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